Now You See 'Em, Now You Don't

feminine |ˈfemənin|- adjective  1 having qualities or appearance    traditionally associated with women,esp. delicacy and  prettiness. 2 of or  relating to women;  female.

Yep, I'm the 1 in 8 women diagnosed with breast cancer.  Stage III.  Now that that's out there, let's get to the funny part.  So, I'm sitting in a dining area and two women whom I do not know particularly well, but who were aware of my recent diagnosis, sat next to me.  While in the midst of a discussion about the town's library book sale, Woman 1 turned to me and asked, "So, will they take both breasts?"  Not having followed the quick topic shift, I responded, "Who? The library?  I don't think it needs them."   The women laughed uncomfortably.  Woman 2 then said,"I hope they don't.  I wouldn't feel like a woman if that happened to me."

I've never thought of any one thing defining me as a "woman."  I have female DNA.  I have a vagina, PMS, and an intolerance to complete and utter bullshit.  Yep, I'm a woman.  I cut off my hair at 28.  And not, oh, give me a cute little pageboy or pixie cut.  I mean CUT IT OFF where you could see my scalp.  I loved it so much, I've kept it that short for 14 years.  And though I've been asked those same types of questions, "Aren't you afraid you'll be mistaken for a man?  "Without hair, don't you feel less feminine?" I was equally perplexed.  Why would not having hair or breasts, or an arm or an eye for that matter, make me any less a woman?

I won't lie and say I'm not likely to look down one day post surgery and think, "Hmm, that's different," but I'm still equally likely to continue peeing sitting down and demanding that I get paid the same as say any one of those long-haired, man-boobed penis-enhanced people walking around the workplace.


Hair; no hair.  Boobs; no boobs.  You'll still be able to hear me roar.